IM conversations of the Cullen & Swan residence!
by Team Emmett
Summary: What if the Cullens and Bella had an IM service?
1. Chapter 1

**Some randomness that popped into my brain! It'll help me find that darned notebook and hopefully cure writer's block! **

**Xoxo!**

**Team Emmet. **

**PS: This may be OCC, we'll see where it takes me!**

**DISCLAIMER: I do not own the Twilight series characters. The wonderful, beautiful Stephenie Meyer owns them (that lucky lucky girl!) But, I do own a signed copy of Eclipse….**

**---**

Bella: EEEEEEEdward.

Edward: Yes, love?

Bella: Where were you for the past….3 DAYS?

Edward: Hunting…I told you that…?

Bella: NO! YOU DIDN'T! I HAVE BEEN PANICKING ALL DAY!

Edward: You just started panicking….?

Bella: Don't be absurd Edward. I just went into super panic mode today.

Edward: Oh. But I left a note on your bed.

Bella: DID NOT! DID NOT!

Edward: Actually, yes.

Bella: Hold on.

Edward: Will do.

Bella: Oh, It fell behind my bed. Probably knocked it over when I tripped and FELL.

Edward: Are you alright, love?

Bella: NO! I CRACKED MY SKULL OPEN AND MY SPLEEN FELL OUT. Yes, of course I'm fine. I just tripped over my shoe.

Edward: Not the floor this time?

Bella: HAHA Edward.

_Alice has entered the room. _

Alice: Bella!

Bella: Alice….

Alice: Um, Bella?

Edward: She's cranky because she tripped and lost the note I left her.

Alice: She fell?

Edward: Uh, yes. Did I not just say that?

Bella: You guys type waaayy to fast.

Edward: 6,589 words per minute. 

Bella: Shoooooow off!

Alice: 5,986 words. 

Bella: Again, Shoooow off!

Alice: Well, what can I say?

Bella: You're immortal.

Alice: No need to point the obvious.

Edward: Its not obvious.

Alice: It isn't?

Edward: Oh, no! We've just been walking around for 100 some years, and people think 'OH! VAMPIRE! LETS CATCH IT!'

Alice: HAHAHAHAHAHAH! You crack me up.

Bella: The words are popping up too fast!

Edward: Sorry.

Alice: Sorry, I'm immortal.

---

**Hopefully the new chapters will be funnier. I'm going to add some Emmett! ♥♥♥♥**

**I see Emmett as a funny perverted fellow. So, that's how you'll get 'im.**

**R & R anybody?**


	2. Chapter 2

YOU GUYS ARE CRAZY! So many reviews! I was in review HEAVEN! To all my Emmett Cullen fans:

Emmett is indeed yummy, isn't he? 

Enough of my sad love story.

I know Bella is 'annoying' But, its OCC, riiight? YES! ON WITH EMMETT!

---

Bella: Edward?

Edward: Bella!

Bella: Uh, Edward…excited are we?

Edward: What? Uhh…Umm…no! NO….

Bella: Yes, what's with all the exclamation points?

Edward: No idea what you're talking about Bella.

Bella: Emmett?

Edward: What?

Edward: I mean, who?

Edward: I mean…I love you Bella!

Bella: EMMETT! GET OFF OF EDWARD'S COMPUTER!

Edward: Whyyy?

Bella: Because its rude to trick little humans.

Edward: But it's so fun!

Bella: ;;

Edward: What's THAT supposed to be?

Bella: A face crying, are you stupid Emmett?

Edward: I don't know! Sheesh, humans!

Bella: Haha. Emmett is stupid!

Edward: Nu-uh!

Bella: YOU'RE CONFUSING ME! GO BACK TO EMMETT!

Emmett: Okay…

Bella: Huh, 3 seconds…you're fast.

Emmett: duh?

Edward has been added to the conversation

Edward: Must you torment Emmett, must you?

Bella: Yes Emmett, must you?

Emmett: Why are you ganging up on me?

Bella: Because that's what we "humans" do.

Emmett: Edward isn't human!

Bella: He's dating one!

Edward: This is true…

Emmett: Still….

Bella: Yeah! Burn Burn Burn! You've been SCORCHED!

Edward: Bella, how are your caffeine levels?

Bella: Huh, well, I've had 2 Rockstars, a coke…aaaanddddddd…6 Mountain Dews!

Emmett: EDWARD! YOUR GIRLFRIEND IS SCRAZY!

Edward: Is 'scrazy' a word?

Emmett: Crazy Scary Scrazy!

Bella: Duuhhhh Edward.

Edward: Bella, I'm coming over…soon.

Bella: Really? Cool…I like sugar.

Edward: No more.

Bella: Yes more.

Edward: No more!

Bella Yes more!

Edward: NO NO NO NO!

Bella: Yes Yes Yes Yes!

Edward: Beeeella.

Bella: Yeah?

Edward: Um, stop.

Emmett: BELLA! NO MORE SUGAR! SUGAR BAAAAD!

Bella: NO! Sugar yummy Emmett, Y-U-M-M-Y!

Emmett: be right back….

Bella: OOH! EDWARD! SOMEONES AT THE DOOR! 

Edward: Don't go get it!

Bella: HOLD ON!

Edward: Bella?

Edward:….BELLA?

Bella: Isabella Marie Swan is being held captive.

Edward: Bella, this isn't funny.

Bella: 'Edward' be quiet and no one gets hurt, just pay me $100,000

Edward: Who is this?

Bella: Its Isabella's stalker. I've been following her for 2 years now.

Edward: Where's Emmett when you need him?

Bella: Who is this 'Emmett' in which you speak of?

Edward: Emmett?

Bella: Who is this 'Emmett'?

Bella: Edward! Help! He's got me!

Edward: Bella? Bella! Bella! What does he look like?

Bella: He's wearing a ski mask, I thought he was you…but…. its not! You wouldn't do this….

Edward: EMMETT! LET HER GO! I CAN HEAR YOUR THOUGHTS!

Bella: Its Emmett?

Bella: Hey! It is! 

Edward: EMMETT! YOU ARE IN DEEP DEEP TROUBLE!

Bella: Hehehe!

---

**EEEE! BELLA ON A SUGAR HIGH! **

**You gotta love Emmett. This was written quickly, so don't hate Emmett..or me…..!**

'**kay?**

**Kay!**

**R & R please.**

**And you Emmett lovers better message me. ;) **


	3. Chapter 3

Yuck! Its rainy outside, so I'm inside 24/7. This means, MORE UPDATES! Also, I was looking on my bookshelf yesterday, and guess what I found? A pink notebook that says 'TWILIGHT FANFICTION' on it! YAY YAY YAY! So, you'll be getting an update on that. 

On with the IM!

Lyk, baii. :D

-Team Emmett (xoxo)!

---

Alice: Bella?  
Bella: Alice.

Alice: Hey Bella. My brothers are "addicted" to the IM service….

Bella: THEY'RE ONLY ON 24/7!

Alice: Everyday they come downstairs and talk about their new fonts & icons.

Bella: I know what we can do!

Alice: NO MORE SUGAR! PLEASE!

Bella: Emmett took it all….

Alice: So, what's your idea?

Bella: LETS CHATSPEAK TO THEM! Bet they don't know THAT!

Alice: My dear Bella, you are a GENIUS!

Bella: Thank you, thank you.

Alice: LETS DO IT!

_Edward has been added to the conversation_

Emmett has been added to the conversation

Emmett: Hi guys…

Edward: you need anything love?

Bella: OMG guys! Haii!

Alice: Whts ?

Emmett: Uhh…

Edward: English, please.

Bella: Ed, whts ?

Edward: Nothing, the sky? WHAT!

Alice: heh. Omg. So brd.

Bella: agrd.

Emmett: I'M SCARED!

Bella: Wht?

Alice: OMG! LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL!

Edward: Lol……?

Bella: ROFL! U r stoopd.

Emmett: Okay…LOL Little Old Lady?

Bella: LMAO!

Alice: LMAO!

Emmett: ROFL Roosters on flooding lakes?

Edward: you're stupid Emmett, NO!

Emmett: LMAO Little Mary Ate Ostriches? 

Edward: Emmett! You're looking stupider.

Bella: I GIVE UP!

Alice: ahahahahah! You guys are fun!

Bella: agreed.

Emmett: What does 'LOL', 'ROFL' and 'LMAO' mean?

Bella: I'm leeeeeeaving.

Edward: NO SUGAR! I'm coming over.

Alice: Me too, bye!

Emmett: Guys? Help? WHAT DO THEY MEAN?

Bella: see you super soon!

Edward: I love you.

Bella: I love you too.

Emmett: A little help?

Alice: bye!

_Alice has left the conversation._

Edward: Be over in less than 5!

_Edward has left the conversation._

Bella: Bye Emmett!

_Bella has left the conversation._

Emmett: NO! BELLA!

Emmett: guuuuys?

Emmett: RUDE!

Emmett: hehe!

Emmett: YOU WILL PAY!

---

**Uhhh….yeah. Fluffy! Hah. So, that was written during Science (snooze fest!) Written in 23 minutes! Its good…well…not great. But I have 4 more written throughout my day. I'm so mean to Emmett…..( I love him though! NEVER FORGET THAT MY LOVE!**


	4. Chapter 4

**This is fun! Hope you guys enjoy this.**

**I LOVE YOU GUYS! 3**

**-Team Emmett. (XOXOXOXOXO!)**

---

Bella: Edward! Emmett WROTE ON MY CAR! 

Edward: What did he write?

Bella: 3mm3 k!ck$ $$

Edward: wow…

Bella: its NOT going to come out.

Edward: A nice little Audi Coope…

Bella: no No NO NO!

Edward: what are you going to do?

Bella: hehehehe….

Edward: B-Bella, love? No sugar, correct?

Bella: Huh-uh. None. Nada. Zip.

Edward: So, what're you going to do?

Edward: Bella?

Edward?

Edward: …

Bella has gone idle

Edward: oh-no.

_Edward has left the conversation._

---

**It's a short little thing! Review and get more. :D**

**DUN DUN DUN! "suspense"**


	5. Chapter 5

**This chapter is dedicated to Pheonixrebirth93, so she'll be able to sleep tonight.**

**As Always,**

**Xoxo!**

**-Team Emmett!**

---

Emmett: EDWARD!

Edward: WHAT?

Emmett: My jeep….is…PINK!

Edward: why?

Emmett: your little girlfriend!

Edward: aha. What else?

Emmett: GLITTER! G-L-T-T-E-R-!-!-!

Edward: No writing?

Emmett: Only: LOL-Laugh Out Loud ROFL: Roll On Floor Laughing LMAO: Laugh My Ass Off. Love, Bella

Edward: Well, now you know.

Emmett: BUT! It won't come off! Rose already tried!

Edward: Her truck is ruined too you know.

Emmett: Well, now she knows I kick ass.

Edward: This is coming from the guy who wouldn't kill a "mommy bear because then baby bear would die Edward, DIIIEEEEE!"

Emmett: EMMETT WOULD'VE!

Edward: you named the poor thing?

Emmett: it's a good name!

Edward: to you.

Emmett: Rose thinks so too. She likes to yell it…if you know what I mean.

Edward: ew.

Emmett: I'm leaving.

Edward: why?

Emmett: You'll hear it in a second.

---

Rosalie, that lucky lucky gal. ( HEHE! My first "perverted" thing Emmett says. :D

**I LIKE IT!**


	6. Author's Note PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE READ!

**As you have noticed, I have been working "double time" on my chapters, but ah, a twist! Do you guys think I should keep typing these IM stories? Or maybe should I try something new? Like, a story? Hm, If ya' can't deicide, maybe I'll try both?**

**OH! Also, I don't think I'm going to update my other story unless I get 10 comments. I don't think you guys enjoy it…..(**

**Hm, well, cast yer vote!**

**X - keep with the IMing!**

**O-A new story, please! With a similar story line.**

**XO- Try a new story, but keep the IMing, too!**

**Z – JUST STOP WRITING ON YOU DISGUST ME!**

**Pleeeeease respond!**

**XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO!**

**An extra 'XO' to my Emmett lovers. (:**

**-Team Emmett.**


	7. Chapter 7

**I haven't updated in forever!! I'm very very sorry to all. :'( So, I'll try to make this one longer. **

**-Team Emmett.**

**Xoxo!**

Emmett: Eddie, I'm bored.

Edward: Don't call me 'Eddie'.

Emmett: Why notttttt?

Edward: shut up Emmett, don't you have a wife to do?

Emmett: She's hunting. Sadly.

Edward: Oh thank god. No more thoughts.

Emmett: My mind does not have a filter Eddie.

Edward: I'm sorry Emmy.

Emmett: 'Emmy' is a girl name.

Edward: so?

Emmett: Don't call me it!

Edward: Emmy! Emmy! Emmy!

Emmett: SHU-UP GARL!

Edward:…excuse me?

Emmett: can you not read?

Edward: yes, but…Emmett, you're not black.

Emmett: M-M Garl. Don't chu do dat!

Edward: Emmett…

Emmett: Whaa?

Edward: stop.

Emmett: Stawp wha garl?

Edward: your noobish talk now.

Emmett: nu! Nu! Nuuuu!!

Edward: you're starting to sound like Bella on a sugar high.

Emmett: D

Edward: BELLA!?

Emmett:…yes?

Edward: where are you?

Emmett: at my house.

Edward: Emmett?

Emmett: Yessssss?

Edward: did you give Bella sugar?

Emmett: noooo!

Edward: BAD EMMETT!!

Emmett: NO! EMMETT GOOD BOY!!

_Edward has signed off_

**ERRR!! I'm starting a new story sometime soon, everyone! I'm losing my funny. :(**


	8. Chapter 8

**I'm BACK! And not so much in black, but in white. Onward men! (THANKYOU ****My Watercolour Romance!!!!)**

Emmett: OH WOE IS ME!!!

Edward: Ugh, what?

Emmett: I looked up my name on google…

Edward: And?

Emmett: My name…

Edward: Yes, you looked it up on google.

Emmett: It's a GIRL NAME!

Edward: How tragic.

Bella: LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL!!!!!!!111!!one!one11!

Edward: Oh no…

Emmett: BELLA! STOP HACKING INTO OUR CHATROOMS!

Bella: -giggle-

Edward: Its not cute anymore!

Jasper has entered the chatroom.

Jasper: I'm feeling a bit of tension coming from this particular area of the internet?

Bella: Haha, tension. Jasper is like, HAI. I HAVE MOUSTACHE, INTARNETZ! 8|D

Jasper: Bella, that's absurd, there is no facial hair growing on my upper lip!

Bella: I wonder if Alice likes moustaches.

Jasper: She always does seem to be a tad happier around men with them.

_Alice has entered the chatroom._

Alice: I've forseen some things.

Bella: Alice, to moustaches turn you on?

Jasper: BELLA!

Edward: Bella, be nice about it!

Emmett: FAAACIAL HAAAIR!

Alice: In fact, they do.

Bella: See Jasper, you're just nooo good for her any longer. Time to 'move along, move along, move along home!'

Edward: Where did you get that quote from?

Bella: Er….

Alice: Hahahahhaahhahaha.

Emmett: Bella is a FAHHH-reeek.

Jasper: I'm sensing some discomfort.

Bella: SHU-UP.

Edward: Oh god…she's a…

Alice: a….

Emmett: Alex, I'd like to buy the vowel 'a'…

Bella: A TREKKIE!!!!

**Heheheh. A bit of humor, no? I myself enjoy Star Trek. –giggle-**

**I am deff. Losing my funny, guys!**

**MMM, fluffy!**

**Please review, i'm trying to answer back as much as i can, but i'm terribly FAILING.**

**FLOOD MY INBOX! xD teamemmett_ **

**email me, loves!**

**XOXOXOXOXOXO!**


	9. Chapter 9

Okay guys! I'm trying to get back into the swing of things. I wonder how many jaws hit the floor when you saw that last update!

I'm so sorry for being gone for so long! :(

I was just lazy over the summer, and my grades kept slipping this year. They're up, along with my hopes! Enjoy, reviews are always loved! :)

Bella: Guys?

Edward: Yes, love?

Emmett: How may I help you?

Alice: Yeah Bella?

Bella: I'm bored.

Edward: You should be in deep slumber at this moment, Bella.

Alice: Its 2 a.m.

Emmett: Heh.

Edward: Oh Emmett, you did NOT just think that!

Bella: Think what?

Emmett: Bella was having a naughty seeeeex dream!

Edward: EMMETT!

Alice: OMG! BELLA! You'd tell your BFFL about your millionth sex dream with Eddie, right?

Bella: ALICE!

Edward: BELLA?

Emmett: EMMETT! =D

Alice: Emmett, you're not wanted in this mature conversation.

Emmett has left the conversation.

Emmett has entered the conversation.

Edward: Emmett…

Bella: I invited him back! My dream was about HIM!

Emmett: so THAT'S why you've been staring at my junk!

Edward: BELLA!

Bella: Ohnoez!

Alice: Bella, over, now!

Bella: okay, bye now.

Alice: STAY BOYS, STAY.

Bella & Alice have left the conversation.

Edward: …

Emmett: I can hear you growling! :3

Srsly guys! I need ideas with this stuff! Its not making me laugh anymore! Let's hope it has the opposite effect for you!

e-mail me! (address on homepage! 8D)

I'll reply asap!

Xoxoxoxoxooxoxoxoxoxoxo!

-Team EMMETT!


	10. Chapter 10

**I want this fanfic to stay alive!! I'm begging for help still! I'm desperate here, working the fanfic corner!**

**Read on, fans.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Stephenie Meyer's characters, but in this case, I own myself.**

**Basically, This is a chapter, where I'm IMing Emmett (a dream…) I'm getting excited, bby! I'm Milly, silly! :)**

Milly: Hay!

Emmett: Who is this?

Milly: Your, erm, lover.

Emmett: You do know that Rosalie can end up reading these, and will probably ground me from the computer, right?

Milly: Our love can make it through!

Emmett: Are you that girl who sat outside my window last night singing love songs?

Milly: Guilty. Did you enjoy my serenade?

Emmett: Rosalie thought it was annoying.

Milly: Rosalie was with you!?

Emmett: We were attempting to create a mini-us.

Milly: WHA?!

Emmett: We were having sex.

Milly: Yes, I realize that. I'm not stupid.

Emmett: Doesn't she moan like an angel?

Milly: Um...Emmett...

Emmett: Her to-die-for curves!

Milly: EMMETT!

Emmett: HER HAIR! God! I can tug and tug....

_Milly has left the conversation_

Rosalie: Oh Emmett, How I love you!

**A girl can dream! 0:) In my *perfect* world, Rosalie would be ELIMINATED.**

**-My Emmybear. 3**

**Fill my inbox! (address on homepage)**

**xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo!**

**(extra xo to my Rosalie h8rs!)**

**-TEAM EMMETT!**


	11. Chapter 11

Let me first start us off with…I'M ALIVE!!!!! No worries  I've just been out doin' my own thing. Oh, and my computer decided to break (stupid technology!!) And that I have many a chapter written! The only down side () to that is….I'm serious about loosing my funny this time! I've written so many things, and they aren't making me laugh. Which is usually what happens! Soooo, I'm relying on you guys to make me laugh! Thus, send me your ideas!!!!!!! Message me, PLEASE. I am on my knees, BEGGING. I might regret this, but either send your ideas to my message box on fanfic, or IM me.

AIM – millymunchlax

It's the only one I am ever on. Thanks!

Also! I have a new little "contest". Details about that will be posted later in the week. Hopefully! Anyhoo….

Yay! A new update! After months and months of waiting!!!!! =)

After calming yourself-

Please read in an orderly fashion~

Bella : Hello Edward.

Edward: Hello love, how've you been.

Bella: Fine, I guess.

Edward: Bella, this doesn't sound like the "normal" you.

Bella: What? Oh sorry. Emmett's over. We're playing Chutes and Ladders!

Edward: Why is he there….?

Bella: Well, Edward, We're best friends.

Alice: WHAT?! I thought…we were…bffs….

Bella: Do you just invite yourself Alice? I swear.

Emmett: Yeah AAAAlice!

Alice: BELL-UH!

Bella: Ugh.

Emmett: Have you seen her new facebook status and picture?!

Edward: WHAT?!

Bella: Emmett McArty Cullen you're ruining everything.

Emmett: Sorry Bella.

Edward: Really….

Alice: Wow.

Emmett: Don't we look fiece?

Alice: Seriously?

Edward: A mirror picture?

Emmett: Flash and everything!

Rosalie: Emmett, WHY THE HELL IS YOUR JUNK SO CLOSE TO BELLA'S ASS?!?!?!?!

Bella: Am I in trouble?

Emmett: well, uh, Rose…cause…

Edward: and your new status "I love Emmett Cullen! He's my new bff!!! =) 3" ?

Alice: BELLAAAA!!!

Bella: UGH. EMMETT.

Haha, just a short little drabble during study hall. Which leads me to the question of;;

Should Team Emmett Fan Fiction get a facebook? I looove me some social networking! You could be alerted for new updates and possibly spoilers & secret chapters! =) Message me, loves!

REVIEW!!

XOXO,  
Team Emmett.


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